Let's Break Down That First Date (or Job Interview) Anxiety

First date and anxiety

Hold up, and before you start breaking a sweat just by reading that sentence, take a deep breath. We all experience anxiety sometimes, especially in new social situations. It’s completely normal to feel a bit nervous before a first date or job interview. But the good news is there are tools that can help you manage it and conquer that anxiety.

Why are we anxious in the first place?

Short answer: our brains love to predict the future. Sometimes, they do it a little too well and paint scary pictures of things that might go wrong. It’s like a personal horror movie playing in our heads. But remember, it’s just a movie!

So what can we do?

1. Know your enemy: Let’s try to understand what exactly is causing our anxiety. Maybe it’s the fear of failure, the fear of judgment, or simply our own insecurity. The better we understand the root of our anxiety, the more effectively we can deal with it.
2. Breathe deep: Sounds cliché, but it works! Deep breaths signal to our bodies that we're okay and allow us to relax.
3. Focus on the present: Instead of worrying about what might happen in the future, let’s focus on the moment. What do we see, hear, feel? This will help us get those negative thoughts out of our heads.
4. Shift the spotlight: Instead of being under a microscope, let's shine the spotlight on the person in front of us. Let's try to understand what they’re going through, what interests them, and what we can learn from them. Let’s be curious and show genuine interest in what they have to say. This will help us stop focusing on negative thoughts and truly connect with the other person.
5. Prepare questions: Before the meeting, you can prepare a list of open-ended questions to help you get to know the other person better. This will give you topics of conversation and help you feel more confident.
6. Make a list of accomplishments: Before any important meeting, write down a list of all the things you’re good at. This will help you feel more confident in yourself.
7. Talk about it: Don’t be afraid to share with friends, family, or a therapist. They can provide you with support and great advice.
8. Start small: If the idea of a full-blown date makes you anxious, start with shorter meetings, like coffee or a phone call.

Remember: You're not alone! Millions of people experience social anxiety, and it can be successfully managed. With a little patience and persistence, you can overcome your fears and live a full and social life.

Quick tip for the end: Humor is the best medicine! Don’t take yourself too seriously and try to enjoy the process.

Note: This post is based on the principles of two well-known therapeutic approaches: ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) and CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy). ACT emphasizes acceptance of unpleasant thoughts and feelings, while CBT focuses on changing negative thought patterns.

Disclaimer: This post is for informational purposes only and should not replace professional advice. If you are struggling with severe anxiety, it is recommended that you seek therapy.